I know Floridagirl likes to read self help books but this isn't just for her. I read them from sort of a sociological perspective (I did major in Soc). So I was in the bookstore tonight & read Why Men Love B-tches. A friend of mine had recommended it. I didn't actually read the whole thing but skimmed through a lot. I think the title is very misleading because the author doesn't really tell women to be b--s, it's more that she is telling them to be empowered women, not doormats and to have self respect. Some of it is obvious, although I have read stories from women on other boards that go like "well I slept with the guy the first night we met, he just comes to my house to watch TV & have sex and I don't know why he doesn't want a relationship now" well-duh! You showed the guy he didn't have to work at anything. Not that I think women should be manipulative and actually in the 3 serious relationships I've had (2 of which were marriages) I did have sex with the guy pretty early on, but I actually got an indication that the man was interested in me. I think the good point here is that women shouldn't turn their lives upside down in order to get a man--like the women who will cancel their plans that they had already made with friends when the guy calls at the last minute. I would never pretend to have plans if I didn't and sometimes spontaneity is a good thing, but who wants a guy who will NEVER call in advance for a date and always makes you wait to the day of to see if he will want to be with you? That would get old pretty fast--most of the time, I would need at least a few days notice, not that every date has to be planned weeks in advance. I think it goes along with that prase that you show people how you want to be treated.
Now this is another book that says that men should pay for dates in the beginning and that women shouldn't pursue men too much cause man actually enjoy the chase as much as the conquest. This totally goes against everything I thought as someone who came of age in the feminist 70's and thought then that women showed their equality by not letting men pay. lol It's amazing that I did get a serious BF when I was just out of college! I never thought too much about those issues then, but I just remembered--he probably paid for 90% of our dates cause he worked full time while I was in law school--I didn't think of it as a dating issue, I was just broke! And I was just coming out of the days (when I was in high school) when girls NEVER called boys--I had a BF in high school and I probably called him once to tell him my grandmother died. So then fast forward many years and you think things are different, men & women are more equal in the work place, why aren't we the same in dating? I know that FG has said that relationships never seemed to work out when you pursued the guy but that isn't a universally held opinion here.
Well these kinds of books are all interesting to read. I wouldn't make any of them my Bible, it's just interesting to get different perspectives. And I'm 99% sure that men never read any relationship books.