I've been in affair for almost 6 months. We met on Ashley Madison. I'm starting to really fall for him and he has been saying he loves me for a while. In sooo many ways he is the perfect AP. We text almost all day every day, talk on the phone almost every day, see eachother in person about twice a week. He's literally gone out of his way to do things for me and be with me. He really shows me that he loves me.
But I got a little paranoid, insecure feeling yesterday (out of the blue, no red flags), so I signed up for an Ashley Madison account to check if he had one (He told me months ago he had canceled his.). I used fake information, location, age, everything. I searched for him and found him there. It said he was online. I looked at his profile and a couple hours later when I checked again, he had looked at my profile. I never messaged him pretending to be someone else. When I saw his profile, I almost threw up. I know it's payback, I'm cheating. I know he's a good liar because he lies to his wife to make plans with me. Since we talk constantly and see eachother often, I'm not sure if he'd even be able to see someone else behind *my* back. I didn't confront him today but I asked him some questions to see if he was happy with me and if he wanted to see someone else. Of course, he said he was very happy and there was no one else. I just checked Ashley Madison again and now I can't see his profile. It seemed to have disappeared, when I search by his username or by his age and location. It almost makes me think I was dillusional yesterday! But I really don't think I was.
So, what do you think? Do you think he's looking for another OW? In addition or instead of me? He might have just gone on Ashley Madison in a moment of weakness (thinking grass is always greener on the other side and curious on what is out there), be thinking of trading me in for a better model, be a socio-path who is really really good at showing fake feeling and lying. Should I say something to him? I believe in once a cheater always a cheater (but he's already cheating with me!) and I deserve this, but I'm really hurt.