I have a friend that I love dearly. She is in her early 20's and married to an older man. In the last 4 years, they have had 3 children, she has quit working to care for them and the added needs plus the loss of her paycheck has taken a toll on them. They receive government subsidy, and still barely get by.
She has complained several times that they cannot afford to buy Christmas presents or birthday presents for the kids, diapers or other things that the family needs, will ask me for help if I can, which I usually do (in the form of what is needed, no cash) then she will call me and talk about the weekend they just got back from at a theme park and how good it was to sleep in a motel and eat at a restaurant. They have started to rely heavily on the charity of food banks, churches and anywhere else they can receive goods and services, up to and including a home that is being built for them.
The last child was born last month, and two weeks after the baby was born, she told me that they were thinking about trying one more time for a boy. As I stated earlier, I love her dearly, but I think they are insane. She often makes comments that I am lucky to only have one older child that I don't have to haul around with me all the time and that I can get peace at night and go out in public.
I bite my tongue and say nothing when I really want to tell her that it is her fault for not being responsible and telling her husband no because he wants a son so badly. She has said several things that have been rude, hurtful and out of left field since the last one was born, and I really want some advice on how to gently lay down the friendship and walk away. I am tired of bring berated because I made different choices than she has.