I met this great guy. We have a lot in common and enjoy each others' company very much. We make each other laugh and smile. He treats me so well. He takes me out to great places and buys me flowers and gifts. BUT... I don't think I can let the relationship grow because he has a very attractive woman living with him in his home. She is 18 years younger than he is and I am 10 years younger than he is. He told me he will never lie to me and I believe him. He is a good man.
He met the woman 8 years ago in a support group for people that had lost loved ones to cancer. They became friends...later she broke up with her boyfriend she had been living with so she asked if she could stay with Jay and he said yes. She moved in as a friend and they have never had sex but after she had been there awhile he fell in love with her and told her he loved her and wanted to be her man. She said no, she could not be in any relationship at that ime. She was not ready but a few weeks later she had a new boyfriend. Jay accepted that she did not love him and accepted her as a friend. She has had about 4 or 5 boyfriends I think he said during the 7 years she has lived with Jay.
He helped her get a better job with a much higher salary, he helped her through a surgery and took care of her as she healed like a nurse. He has a very nice home and he is a gourmet cook and cooks the meals. He has taken her to cancun with his daughter and son in law on vacation. She has a high paying job and has bought a house that she rents to someone while she continues to live with Jay. He said now that she has a good job she pays him rent but I am sure it is not much. Every year her mother comes to visit and stays from Thanksgiving to late January or February in his home also.
She has been living with him for 7 years now. I have known him for 10 months. He says they have never had sex and he says he only loves her as a friend and he no longer has romantic feelings about her. I find it hard to believe. I believe him about no sex but I don't believe he no longer has romantic feelings for her. I want to believe him but I don't and that is why I am writing this here. If you were in my situation what would you think? What would you do? Even if it is true about him no longer loving her in a romantic way it is weird to me that they live together for 7 years. I feel like they have bonded. I feel like he already has a wife but they just do not have sex. I think I am going to just be his friend and end the romantic thoughts we both have been having because I am very very turned off by him and his live in friend.