it has been a long time since I have posted on here. I am not suicidal ( yet ) and I hope not to be. My dad passed Wednesday and we cremated him Friday after we had a service. my doctor gave me atavan to help me cope. I havent had any since Friday. Today is the 1st day I have been alone and it is sort of nice but also scary. I was a daddy's girl and miss him so much. I have some angry feeling towards my mom aover my dads death. he was in congestive heart failure and the doctor kept telling us that we had a very sick man and he couldnt lay down at all, well on Tuesday night around 11:30 pm my dad got up to use the restroom and fell and he told my mom to call 911 and she did but she never went back in there to get him to sit up, if she would have got him to sit up he may be here today with us. I have been there for my mom and have been nice to her and havent said anythingt like this to her or anyone else. my heart is just shattered into tiny pieces, and now there are no tears that flow from my eyes, I am so angry at my mom I feel she allowed him to die.