I've always been a shy guy who never accepted the unwritten rule that men should always make the 1st move. That's why the bar scene and OLD never worked for me, and speed dating is too random.
I'm not ashamed to say that I'm out of the closet about being straight but openly asexual, and I could never understand what motivates some other men to do the casual sex thing unless they're going to get a medal for it... pleasure-centered personalities, I guess. Asexual or not, I still crave love, and I'm pretty sure I know the difference between the two.
That out of the way, last summer after I turned 45, it dawned on me that the best defense is a good offense. I've never been one to curse the darkness, when I could strike a match... so I thought about becoming a speed dating event organizer. But when I contacted the sponsor companies and read through their rule books, I thought, "y'know, these outfits really tie your hands as to what you are & aren't allowed to do; and besides, you can make twice as much money freelancing". So that's the direction I'm taking.
The problem was, I wanted to avoid the bar scene, so I turned to Meetup... I looked around, and there are only 2 meetup groups in my area which don't do the nightclub thing, but one is too small and narrowly focused, and the other offers athletic themes that not everyone enjoys. So, I thought of things a lot of singles would enjoy, like potlucks and costume parties... IMO those would be more fun than your basic boozefests.
Very quickly I realized there's a lot these other Meetup organizers aren't doing. The shy guys are still standing on the sidelines at those events. So I had an idea. It was a fluke, but one male friend and one female friend seem to think it's a great idea. Here it is: at some meetups, you get a name tag when you show up. I thought, why not get my guests talking by listing up to 5 of their interests on their name tags too? That would sure take a lot of the "cold" out of the cold approach. The last couple of weeks, I've been driving to every hotel, park, and restaurant in my area that hosts events and getting info from them. The more I learn, the more it looks like the other Meetup organizers aren't trying very hard!
So... that's where I stand now. I'm 45, never married or been to jail, with a house (paid for), a steady job, and no debts... but being a shy guy has always kept the last piece of the puzzle from fitting into place. Now this shy guy is only a couple of weeks from making a career change which may not only help other shy guys (and shy girls) achieve their goals of meeting someone, but even I may have a shot at meeting the right woman.
The desire to love and be loved can move us to do things we'd otherwise not bother doing...