About a decade ago, I met a man who is a legend in my industry. It was very professional and formal and I felt nothing for him.
Since then, of course I hear his name from time to time.
Then, we were both presenters last September at a big conference in Las Vegas. I approached him with a business idea I thought we could develop successfully. Our skills are complementary and our contacts a perfect fit. He said, "Yes, but I'm a little frazzled right now because I'm going through a bad divorce." That seemed a non sequitur but I thought nothing of it. He's my height and I believed I only like tall men; he's from an ethnic group of which I've learned to be a little wary; and he lives at the far end of my state.
But we started talking about this deal and I'm a sucker for a great brain. Boy, has he got that! We flirted by text and on the phone, just a little. Mostly, we discussed capital requirements and marketing plans for our joint venture.
I find out he's got very little kids - elementary school. Mine is in college at last! He and I are the same age. I'm not into returning to daily motherhood, no thanks.
So we had a business meeting with an investor this past weekend that required us to spend the night in the same hotel. They put us precisely one floor apart - his room was right above mine. We met the investor and then went to his room to recalculate our figures.
We had flirted a lot on the phone and by text. I told myself its just that he's going through a crazy time after his divorce. He had told me he's decided to stay celibate until the dust settles. No problem. But the sexual tension between us in his room and at dinner was insane! I noticed that for a relatively short guy, he appears to have nice equipment. I really AM a sucker for super smart men, and apparently my body is overlooking the obvious drawbacks to forming a relationship.
I had to go back to my room and really take care of business just to calm down enough.
Since then, well, we've kind of gotten a little more frisky by phone. Last night, it turned into pretty amazing phone sex. I'm not even into phone sex but it was insane. I had said No at first, but an hour into the conversation I changed my mind.
I know if/when I see him again, he's going to give up celibacy. I want the business deal to go through. I want to work with him. But I so, so, so badly also want to *uck him. My brain can't even focus on the low probability of it becoming the next Big Love of my life. He's in no place to fall in love anyway, the divorce won't be final until the end of summer.
I guess I want to be scolded, warned, have some sense knocked into me about why taking it to the real world is a very bad idea. I am perfectly capable of working with him whether or not the affair works out, but he is likely to be much more vulnerable considering his circumstances. I don't want to remarry - I've been divorced a long time. I don't want to own him. His marriage was an "open marriage", she says, although he acknowledges cheating with four women. I don't really care about that. I DO believe I want an LTR with him, and I'm monogamous when I'm in one. I also want sex with him this instant, irrational though that is.
Somebody slap me! I am besotted by this man's brain, his lack of hang-ups or contrived morals, and his exceptionally well-developed kinky side that so perfectly matches my own (so rare to find in men!) Help!