Hi, I'm mainly a lurker on here. I have a decision to make once and for all and would like some imput from others, other than my family or friends. Here is the short version of my story. My husband had a one night stand 3 years ago while deployed to Iraq. She got pregnant. He kept this and the fact he was paying her child support from me for a year. He told me 2 years ago. I chose to stay just for the sake of our girls. We are married in name/on paper only. No real relationship is left. Yes, we have been living together all this time for the sake of the kids. We live in a nice home on base. My daughter lovers her elementary school, which is in walking distance to our house. I have been becoming more and more angry and just an overall unhappy person over these 2 years. We get a long okay with occasional arguements over this issue. I try and not bring it up, especially in front of our girls. I would love to have our life back, the way things were before I found out. We do not hear from the woman. As long as she is getting paid, we wont hear from her. I am thinking (I have always thought of this, but stop short of doing it) of moving to Alabama. I have all my family there. I have stopped short of doing this over the years for various reasons. One being that my girls need to see their father. He is military and I do not want them growing up only seeing him monthly or on holidays when they have been use to seeing him. I realize this shouldn't be my problem, but it is. The other reasons are that I absolutely hate the town my family lives in. I grew up there and it was not a good experience growing up there. It is a very small town with no opportunities where everyone knows everyone, you get the picture! I have thought of him moving out, but we couldn't afford to live on the base and him off base. If I move, we both move out of base and get our base housing allowance money back to help with separate living expenses. The girls would live 8 hours away from him. I know I would miss him as well, I'm not gonna lie. I still love him, yes, I still love him. But cannot forgive him and certainly cannot forget this. Adultery is one thing, but having a long lost kid out there somewhere is another, you know? So, I'm torn with whether or not to move and take some seperation time to figure things out or remain in this current situation I have been in for 2 years now. I have tried counseling a couple times, and it has not helped. The counselors tell me to leave him basically and that he will do it again, etc, etc....I realize all this! I could try again to see someone about it, but cannot get the motivation to do it. So, maybe I can get some discussion started and some advice would be nice too. Thanks!