So.... here's the short version: The man I have been dating has had a wonderful career (what most would call a dream job) and turned 40 last month. The thing is, as a semi-pro athlete, 40 normally marks the END of the career.
When we started going out, he informed me that his "schedule" had caused issues with past relationships (the other women basically grew weary with coming second to work), and though I was willing to accept the challenges that accompanied his career choice, I am seeing a much different side of the situation now.
In a futile quest to prove that he still "has it", he has chosen to take on additional conditioning sessions, meetings with teams (to see if he can find someone who will accept him at his age), meetings with sponsors, etc all at the expense of us spending time together. I have tried to be understanding, but dealing with the constant disappointments of cancelled dates and being put on the ba\ck burner ALL THE TIME has started to take its toll.
To make matters worse, he has had offers to coach or work in other areas of the field, but he refuses to entertain those ideas. I told him that I would never ask him to chose between his career and me but he says he deosn't want to lose what we have (which is nothing right now).
I don't want to break up with him, but it's clear that this pattern will continue and I would feel awful if he made a decision to keep me happy only to resent me later, and the prospect of waiting indefinitely until no one wants the old guy or he gets hurt (and the subsequent backlash from that) is not appealing to me at all. Besides, it's not fair to ask me to wait in the wings for something that may or may not happen.
(sigh) This is hard...