So...my mother's 80th birthday party is coming up on the 28th. My DD29 told mea while back to text her her grandmother's address and she'd send a card. She lives in CA and we live in the midwest, so of course she won't come (can't afford it), but said she'd send a card. I texted her my mother's address the other day and what did get back?? (And this is from a child I RARELY hear from)...she texted, "She doesn't get a card. She's over 18." If my DD thought she was being funny, I disagree. I found it rude and disrespectful. Granted, my DDs don't like my mother (that's a LONG story), but I thought that comment was uncalled for. I honestly thought she was a grown-up now and would just send a card as she said she'd do simply because it's the right thing to do. The comment referred to the fact that my parents quit sending grandchildren birthday cards and money at age 18 whereas her father's parents (now just their other grandmother...grandpa passed away last year), STILL send their grown grandchildren birthday cards and money. Granted...I will be the grandparent who continue these things AFTER age 18 as my ex MIL does, but my parents have alot of granchildren and not alot of money, so set down different rules regarding these things. My DD also said once that she wouldn't come to her grandmother's party, but WOULD come to her funeral (which I have no doubt won't happen either). My parents lived farther away than my ex's, so his were much more involved grandparents and adored their grandchildren. My parents rarely came to visit (although it was within driving distance) and just weren't a big part of my DDs lives. Regardless of how they feel about their grandmother, I feel sad that they don't at least feel an acknowledgment would be the right to do (in the form of a card).
I feel like I missed the boat in teaching my adult DDs about respect of their elders, but am also appalled at my DDs comment. She MAY have thought she was being funny. I thought it was just mean and disrespectful. I honestly thought she had finally grown up. Guess I was wrong. I didn't even respond.
Thanks for letting me vent. It's just so disappointing to rarely hear from an adult child and then to get a text like that. It makes me just feel sad.