Just dropping by to remind you all that not all affairs end badly. My affair was a classic exit affair for both of us. Started a friendship, six months later it turned physical and within three months of that, I had started my divorce and he had disclosed the affair to his wife and they had separated. Ten years later, we are still together and happily married.
We have a good relationship with his grown children and I have a cordial relationship with his first wife, which says more about her than me. We have had a few discussions over the years and she has forgiven us both. She understands that we did not set out to hurt her and that this was something that happened that we could not control.
We are best friends and lovers. I have the relationship I always wanted, with a man who loves me and cares about me. Ten years ago when we were dealing with the fallout of everyone's knowledge of the affair and were trying to chart a path to being together, I could not have imagined how good it really was going to be. It was worth it.