My husband came to me to confess he had had an affair with his business partner many years ago and she had developed cervical cancer. She told him to tell me so I could get checked for HPV because she believed he had transmitted it to her. To say I was shocked is an understatement. While she was his business associate, we were also friends. Went on vacations together as couples for years and years. I wanted to know when it happened and how long it went on. He says he can't remember when it happened because it was so long ago. It's important to me because I want to remember what was happening in our lives at the time that could have caused the infidelity. His betrayal is not only to me but to his own values which I always felt so confident in. He has always been so adamant about being true to eachother. He even broke off an engagement with a woman prior to us meeting because she was flirting with a guy she worked with and he could not "be with a woman he couldn't trust". He says they ended the affair because they realized it wasn't right and he still loved me. I have been told that she has confessed to her husband and he admitted to his own affairs (which is probably where she got the HPV transmitted from). My husband has been very remorseful since the revelation but I feel like I've been hit the heart with a sledge hammer - really, the pain is that intense. I don't know what to do or how to move forward. Do the details really matter? We've been married for 31 years. Should it matter that it happened so many years ago? Jeez, I'm such a train wreck. Please, make it stop hurting.