I have been with my husband for 12 years, married for 3. We had a fight over a very very small issue. We did not speak for over 2 weeks. We even misses our anniversary because we were not speaking. Well he was at work and i wanted to see what he had been doing on the PS3 ( i had to sleep outside in my car since he locked the bedroom door. We have a full house so no room to sleep inside. ) I found Porn movies that he had been watching. I wanted to check his computer and found more. We talked about porn many years ago, and both agreed not to watch, I also got rid of everything i had when he moved in. I dont care to watch porm with him anymore because i was raped and it makes me feel awful to see him wanting another woman. I confronted him about what i found and he denied it all, said it must have been someone eles in the house. Nobody eles comes into our bedroom! We fought pretty bad that day and wanted to leave i begged him to stay, which he did. I asked that night if we could make love, he laughed at me and said no. I found more hidden porn 2 days later and threw it awaywithout telling him. The day i took it, he wanted sex i told him no beacuse i was still hurt and felt like he was lying to me by not just admitting it was his. I am very depressed and stay out of the house as much as i can now, because he says "he is tired of my being sad BS". When i am away from him i think about how much i love him and want to be with him and i want to forgive him. When i am with him i cant help but being sad and feeling like he just cant be honest with me. It has been a week now and i cant stop feeling like that. He still denies watching any of it and says "magically appeared". He is 32 i am 31. We have always had fights about his lying, which he seems to do pretty often. I was in an accident that left me disabled, so he is the sole worker and holds it over my head. That its his money but he has never paid bills or managed the money i always have, before i was hurt i was the only worker for over 6 years. We have had so many problems and worked through it, this time i just cant seem to stop feeling awful. I got sick to my stomach when i think it. In the last week i lost 4 lbs since i found his porn, Is there any chance of this working? And am i wrong for feeling like this? He has always been verbally and emotionally abisuve, physical many years ago. I feel like im worthless to him, and that he cant love me if he always does things like this.