I thought the following article was an interesting read. The author feels that they aren't doing anything special by being good parents to their special needs child, they are just doing their best to raise him. While she feels praise is better than pity, she feels like it singles them out even more:
Part of my struggles here come from a desire for our family to fit in. If you meet us at the pool or the park, chat about the weather, how old the kids are, my amazing bikini bod (somehow, that never happens) -- you know, like you would with any parent of any child. Exalting us can make us feel even more alienated from other parents than we already do.
Putting a halo over the heads of special needs parents could actually do kids harm. What if I were a bad parent, the kind who abused her kids? Would it go under the radar because people assume I'm good simply because I have a kid with special needs? As Rick Smith of Noah's Dad pointed out in a recent post, "I've talked to more single mothers than I want to count whose husband divorced them after their 'special' child was born. Divorcing your wife or abandoning your family isn't something a 'special' (good) parent does..."
Can you relate to her feelings?