I am at a complete loss for what to do with my son. In the afternoons my son sits alone and the driver always says he's good, but I've been getting daily reports from his morning driver about how bad he is: he yells, he jumps around, and doesn't listen to the driver when he tells him to stop. Of course I understand where all this is coming from: the bus is crowded in the morning so the kids need to sit 3 to a seat, and when my son gets riled up with other kids he goes insane (I see this at home with his siblings, even). I have to literally grab him by the shoulders, hold him still, and make him look at me before I can talk to him when he gets like that or it doesn't even register - so I know that there is no way he will hear or process what his driver is saying from the front seat when he's all riled up.
We've tried doing a sticker chart and rewards of iPad time (his favorite thing in the world,) time outs, everything. He recites the rules of the bus for me every morning before school. The problem is, it doesn't seem like he's willfully misbehaving. He doesn't seem to know when he's not being good. He always tells me that he was "good" or "pretty good" on the bus, and then I hear from his driver that he was going nuts (and his sister on the bus corrobrates the driver's story). My son seems genuinely confused when his driver says this and insists that he "forgot" that he wasn't being goo, or that he thought he was being good. He seems to have no control and no awareness of what he's doing or how he's behaving.
My son is a sweet boy, very analytical and loving and talks your ear off. He can sit and pay attention to drawing or coloring for hours, and is really capable of sitting still sometimes. But other times he is just out of control - in people's faces, talking way too loud, hitting for no reason. At those times he can't sit still, can't make eye contact, and can't calm down. He's always been like this, I saw it even as a baby.
How much of this is normal boy behavior (he's my only boy so I have only my super-mellow girls to compare him to)? Should I be thinking about ADHD or something? And what should I do about the bus?