Here's another update. Remember at the end of the summer I went to stay at a beach house, invited by a guy (R) and he never told me he had a girlfriend (M) and it was really awkward? I ended up realizing that I wouldn't like him anyway but I liked her. I saw them last night at a dance. I hardly talked to him at all. I was there with some girlfriends anyway, so mostly I talked to them--and I was busy dancing. His foot hurt so he couldn't dance much, and he's a bad dancer. I talked to M for a while. Neither one of them is divorced yet and they aren't pleasant divorces, so better them than me. She was the primary wage earner in her family and her STBX was the primary caretaker of their kids and did a lot of stuff around the house. She made & saved a lot of money. She said that several lawyer told her that with a long term marriage the assets are going to be split 50-50. But she said that R is giving her a hard time about it and basically projecting his issues w/ his STBXW (who is trying to get money from him) onto her. I told her to tell R that her divorce really isn't his business and she will take care of her divorce and he can take care of his divorce. They are practically living together and he doesn't sound that easy to live with. So I'm quite happy that he is with her & not me. And another reason not to date someone whose divorce isn't final and hasn't been final for a while!