DW, 41 and I, 43, have been married for seven years, kids 6 and 4. For a while, the sex had become mechanical/methodical/lacking spontaneity (kids can do that) and having a 'I wish I was doing something else' vibe from DW.
Well, the other morning when we had some alone time, it was confirmed that sex was not that much of an enjoyable activity for her. She acknowledged that intercourse is an important part of intimacy, and that is important/good, but she got no ecstasy from it. It has been this way for a long time. Once I am 'done', she excuses herself to the bathroom and goes on with her day, certainly no coming back to snuggle or even do it again.
She is overly focused on the fact that she is 41, not 'hot' and feels ignored by society due to her age/looks. Like most of us, she is neither fit for the magazine cover nor someone to avert your eyes from. She is within ten pounds of before the children were born, and she knows that I find her attractive.
She wants to be forgiven for having a low drive, for not being that into sex and all that goes with that. I don't think that calls for forgiveness, but I have told her that I forgive her.
Any comment or what to do would be appreciated.