Apologies for the lengthy post:
I have joint (non-custodial) custody of my 15 year old daughter. I am re-married, stay at home with my and current hubby's son (11) and my husband works his behind off to make decent money. My ex husband is still single and is struggling with his own business. I don't know how much he makes but I think it is not much guessing from things my daughter tells me.
I see my daughter a few weekends a month or extended school breaks (she lives 2 hours away). We, my husband and I, provide insurance for her, we pay travel expenses in lieu of child support, we bought her laptop for school, we pay for her cell phone as well as pay for the co-pays when we take her to medical appointments. Her Dad gets to claim her on taxes, pays for the little food they have, splits out of pocket medical expenses and gets her clothes.
My dilemma is:
My husband and I have always gotten her the things she needs or wants when we can afford it but it is getting a bit costly for us now. We suggested she get a job after school, which she wants to do, but her Dad will only let her work for him, which he as yet to allow her to begin doing.
Our son, on the other hand, does chores 5 days a week and earns the money he has saved and uses it for games, toys, etc, although we purchase most things for him. Since I have little time with my daughter as it is, I feel I should not ask her to do chores while she is spending time with us and it is only obvious she can't get a job where we live. We do ask her to help with some things around the house, putting away groceries, gathering laundry, etc. but I feel it is time she starts earning the money she asks for...especially now that she is asking us to get her a car because her Dad can't afford it.
Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on how she can earn the money for the things she asks for? I don't want all her time with us to be doing chores, but I also realize we need to stop giving her what she wants when she has not earned it.
Thanks in advance for the advice!