Tell ya what, he has put me through hell and back....He lied about everything from the beginning. Right down to saying he was divorced. We was 3 months into the relationship, and he failed to mention that he had 5 kids! He invited me over to his house. I seen all of these kids running around, and I said who are all of these kids? He said their mine do you have a problem with that? Of course I didn't have a problem, but I think that was the wrong way to find out. He said he wanted to make sure he hooked me before he told me that otherwise, he thought that I wouldn't accept all 5 of his kids!
We've been in this relationship for a little over 12 years, he was still living with his wife, and they was still living as a married couple...For six years he went back and forth between me and her...Finally he did stop seeing her...and has been with me every since. Later she told me that they was having an open relationship at the time. I didn;t find that out until 6 years later. Also didn't find out they was still married until 6 years down the road! She even toldme that they was divorced, he had her lying to me as well...Don't know how he pulled that off....
Evertime he would get a chance he would take off, saying he was off on business, or make up some kind of excuse. Come to find out he was paying for a motel room for her, and his kids. THe thing is if he would've told me, I would have understand since he didn't want his children homeless. I never gave him any indication, that I didn't want his kids. So I felt bad for her because she was homeless, and let her move in with the kids. She sort of sweetened her way in. Then she would try behing my back, to get his attention, dressin provacatively, trying to make him jealous going out with other guys. It worked too. Then 1 time I was in the hospital getting E.C.T. treaments for depression, come to find out she stayed the night. They didn't do anything I know this for a fact, it was because the kids missed her and wanted to spend time with her. He did tell her to leave, but she waited until he was asleep and stayed anyway. I heard him confront her over the phone, and she said you asked me to stay. I really believe she lied to start a fight between us.
She acted so innocent, that she had me believing her, until someone she worked with, told me that she would sleep with anyone. I could hardly believe it she acted so innocent!!
Since his children have been of age, he hasn't tried to mess with her any longer, and he has been loyal to me for about 6 years, some sneaky things, but not as bad as before. Then his family came back to me and said he told them that I was a nut! They told me that they thought that he was the nut, and that they thought I was a good woman. He now goes to therapy, and told me , that he knows he doesn't deserve me, but that he's trying everything he can to ensure that our relationship gets better.
The thing is, he moved her in next door at one time, and even had me arrested for No Tresspassing, when he invited me over, because all of the sudden through the first six years, he wanted her back and wanted it to look good to her, that he was being serious. The thing is now he's changed so much, the taking therapy, even finally got us our own place. My question is, how can I trust him now after all he's done. I'm not even sure I care for him anymore. I'm afraid the minute I start trusting him, that he will go back to his old ways. Now he does everything for me, constantly making sure I have something to drink, will go out of his way to go to the store for me. He even takes turns sending my granddaughter off to school.
He even went and bought me a car, I didn't have my licence for about 6 years, but as soon as I got them back he made sure I had a car! It's like he's really trying to make it up to me. He keeps saying we need to move forward and forget about the past. The thing is, is how can I trust this man after everything he has done? I really don't even know if I can get my feelings back for him...it wouldn't be right to string him along, life is too short. I'm just soooo confused because of the past. Any advice? What would you do? I love him as a friend, not sure if I can love him the way I used too.