I've been with my current husband for the past eleven years, and we have a five and seven-year-old together. I have a fiftteen year-old-son from a previous marriage, but my husband died from an illness when he was a baby. My mother became ill about five years ago, and we decided to relocate so I could be closer to her. My husband sold his business, and I left my job. The plan was to take the first year off, so we could settle in, find a home, help with my mother, and I was pregnant with our youngest, so I didn't expect anyon to want to hire me anyway. We could afford to do this financially, so we did. When our youngest was twelve weeks, my husband said that someone would have to return to work so we didn't deplete our savings, and that since I had the most earning potential, it should be me. He agreed that he would try some real estate work part-time to help augment my income, but he would basically stay home and take care of the children and the house. When the youngest started school, he said he would find a job at that point. Well, this has been the longest five years of my life, with no end in sight. For the past five years I have worked to support us, and feel like I've basically taken a "backseat" in my children's lives, only to come home and find him sitting in the office facebooking, playing games, watching videos, while the children entertain themselves with TV. The house is rarely clean, homework rarely started, and the laundry he would wash and dry, but he would not put away...instead he would pile it up in various locations, so I would have to iron everything due to the wrinkles...so I just started doing the laundry myself on weekends. As far as the children, I'm honestly not sure how involved he's been with them for the past five years...I know he loves them, but he rarely did anything with them. I'd suggest he find a play group, go to the park, or the library, but he never did. When it came time to prepare them for the start of school, I suggested he work with them on ABCs, reading and so on....but he wouldn't. He replied, "That is what school, and teachers are for." Now keep in mind this is a college educated individual, with a degree in physics, has multiple skills, and has also been a teacher in his career history.) I would do this with them in the evenings, and on the weekends, but I did not have the same amount of time that he did to put into this, because there were so many other things left undone that I would need to take care of . As a result I feel like both of our youngest children started school unprepared, and have struggled to catch up with their peers. Since our youngest started school in August, I've been asking about the job situation and how his search is going. He says that he is putting in resumes, but that it really isn't worth his time to apply or or accept a job that pays less than 50,000 per year, because we would just end up paying for afterschool care. So, instead he applies for higher paying jobs that he has no experience doing, that generally go to people who have worked in these fields. When I suggest he go back to teaching, he says it doesn't pay enough. We don't really need his income, since I can cover the bills, but his income would allow us to save money for our retirment and college funds. Too, if we had extra income, perhaps I could work part-time so I could be more invovled with the children at school and home. I don't see this happening, ever....and I am starting to feel very resentful. What makes this difficult, is that outside of this issue, he isn't a bad person. He loves me and our children, and we don't argue about anything else. Part of me though, can't help but feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I don't know if this is just because I was raised in a home where my Dad worked whie my Mother stayed home, or what...but I'm not sure I can do this anymore. I feel like he's making excuses and has no motivation to do anything. I need advice.