For those of you who have been following my latest saga...things are not working out. He has disappeared.
I shouldn't be surprised. We went out two years ago (one time) and he never asked me out again. I got over that fairly easily and it wasn't weird when I would run into him. But I like to remain positive, and I like to think that sometimes it's just a timing thing, so when we went out this time, I was hopeful.
As you may recall, we went to his house on the first "date" this time. I had run into him at an event, and we ended up there. There was making out, but nothing more. A whole week later he asked me out for that Saturday (by text, and on that same day, mind you) but I already had plans (yay me!). I suggested Sunday, and so we went to lunch and movie and then a wine bar afterwards. I thought we were having a good time. But he did not kiss me goodnight--it was a sort of hug that I wasn't sure how to interpret. We were positioned kind of weirdly (hard to explain), but of course, if a guy wants to kiss you, he can certainly make that happen. OK, so whatever. There was a lecture coming up the following Thursday--I have seen him at these before and thought perhaps he'd like to go. I normally don't ask guys out in the beginning, but I felt this was pretty safe. Plus there was this nagging thought in the back of my mind that perhaps he wasn't really sure I wanted to pursue this. So perhaps I'm a little insecure--what can I say?
I thought the date went well. We went out after the lecture, and I invited him in when he dropped me off. He stayed about 45 minutes, I felt like things went well. However once again, no kiss goodnight, not even a hug goodnight this time. Hmmm. That was Oct. 24. A few days later, I sent him a link to something we had talked about. No acknowledgement.
At that point, I figured that was it really, but I was still hopeful. You never know what is going on in someone's life and after all, I was quite attracted to him. We have a lot in common. I was wliing to wait a while--but not forever. I didn't make plans for that Saturday night, (which is sooo not the thing to do, I know) but of course, he didn't call. And I refuse to call or contact him--it's his turn. And there you have it: another one bites the dust.
Oh, I certainly spent a lot of time wondering what I might have done wrong, but you know, I really didn't do anything wrong. I go from being hurt to being mad, but I'm not devastated--it's not like we dated a long time and had sex or anything. But ultimately, I have to say that he's just not that into me. There really is no other explanation. Yes, you can say, "Oh, he's afraid of commitment, he's shy, etc., etc." but I 've got to agree with Greg Berendt: HJNTIY. Which hurts. It always amazes me when you meet someone you really connect with but they don't feel the same way. How is that possible? And I would love to know what he's thinking, and why he even bothered after two years asking me out again--what was the point of that, dude?
So, if and when I run into him, I will be nice and won't question him about any of it. I will act as if nothing ever happened.
Incredibly, another guy I have seen casually this year (one I'm not into) has asked me out three times. What sick joke is the universe playing on me anyway? BTW, I met both of these men via OLD five years ago.
I'm just tired. And I still don't understand why it's been so hard for me to meet someone. I'm tired of this sh*t.