Let me say that I am sorry if I posted this in the wrong place as I am not sure where else to place the question as I could not find a section on advice for the site. Secondly, I am sorry I posted on this site as I know it is mostly geared toward woman. After a long time searching sites where I could get some sex advice from Women this is the site that kept popping up. If this does not belong here please feel free to remove it and know that I meant no disrespect in placing this here on the site. I would also like to thank any ladies who take the time to reply to my question and give me advice on this matter in advance.
I am going to try to keep this short and get into my question as quickly as possible, but the background is basically this. I am in my early 30's and have a disability. I am currently in a relationship with a person that I love very much and we are still going strong after several years. Now, because of my disability I have problems with being on top when we have intercourse. My problem is that I am always in pain when I am in that position and that gives me two choices. The first is that I can try to focus on the sensation of what I am doing to block out the pain. The problem with this is that I focus too much on the pleasure of what I am doing and end up getting there way before she does which leaves her unsatisfied and me very frustrated. My second choice is to try to not focus on the pleasure and take my mind somewhere else but if I do that then I suffer from taking my mind too far away from the action and (trying to find a way to say this without sounding perverted) I can not stay "ready for action" and end up suffering from ED which leaves us both frustrated. When she is on top I do not usually have this issue.
Now this would all be fine and everything but I know that she has a fantasy about being dominated. I have had some thoughts on how to fullfill this fantasy for her while still working around my physical limitations but I do not know how it would turn out. (please keep in mind when I describe this it is all roleplay. I would never really do this to her in real life or any woman for that matter.) My thought was maybe to tie her up and get her all hot and bothered and maybe start with me on top. Then before I have my problem where I get too excited I stop and do some other things to her while she is tied up. Maybe use some toys or give oral sex. While I do this I am going to snap pretend pictures on my phone. Then I am going to tell her that I am going to untie her and that if she does not do exactly what I say I am going to publish the pictures on the net for everyone to see (AGAIN PLEASE NOTE: I am not really doing this and would never really do it. It is all for the purposes of the roleplay. I would never really do this to any woman) This way I am blackmailing her "in terms of the roleplay" and taking all of the control away from her even though we would be working around my physical limitations.
That way she can have her fantasy of being dominated without everything being ruined by my disability. I am just not sure if I should try to go with this or I should keep thinking on it. I know ultimately it would be up to her, but I kind of wanted the opinion of some other women who like this same thing before I even brought it up to her. Is this the kind of thing that would get other women all hot and bothered or am I batting 0 here and need to go back to the drawing board?
Thank you in advance for any advice you might give me