While the following article isn't specifically geared towards the type of loss you've had, I think it has some good points on how to deal with getting through all the holidays when you are supposed to be happy and surrounded by the ones you love:
After my nephew's death in January, I began to see a grief counselor. Last week, I asked her for advice on how to navigate the coming holiday season. I told her I wanted to avoid the whole thing altogether, as the sorrow has just knocked the wind out of me.
She put into words what I couldn't, explaining that the loss I felt, besides the obvious grief, was also a break in a pattern. She noted how the holidays make glaring the reality and permanency of the losses I’ve experienced. It's not limbo anymore — it's right there in the empty chairs. It tells me they are gone, and won't be coming back.
"You can't go around this. You'll have to face it head on. You'll have crushing moments, but you'll have memories, too. You can push it all away for now,” she said, “but it will come back again until you live through it. The manner in which you spend the holidays won't change the ache of loss."
What are your plans for Thanksgiving?