Perhaps this belongs in a sex thread:
AP took me out for a drink the first time we got together (flirting and a good night kiss). Then some setting while he was out of town. The next time I went over to his place and we had sex. He warned me that with all the build up it may be quick and it was, but his desire for me (and mine for him) was incredibly hot. But definitely no O for me.
The second (and last) time I went over, though he was hungover, he definitely put some more effort into pleasing me (went down on me for a few minutes, more foreplay), but the sex was still quick and still no O for me.
My question is, what do I do? We're not so much having an affair as a Friends With Benefits type situation, which seems pointless if I'm not getting the same enjoyment as he is. As it is now, I'm leaving his place more 'riled up' than when I arrive!
My husband easily gives me orgasms via manual stimulation (though he can also make me orgasm via oral sex) after most of our sex sessions, so it's not an issue of me not being able to orgasm. I can masturbate to orgasm as well. I've never come from sex. Also, my AP is significantly older than me, so he is not able to have sex multiple times (which my husband, who is the same age, can) So after our one go I am beyond horny and he's done for the day. Please note, the irony that I have better sex with my husband than my AP is not lost on me!
I don't really want to end things with my AP just yet, because the desire part is so hot and exciting! I was planning to perform oral sex on AP next time we get together, since I will be on my period, but that would make 3 for him and none for me! ... Not that I'm keeping score ;)
Would you give up on the affair? Talk to him about it? I was either going to text "What's in it for me?" next time he wants to get together, in an effort to try and be a little flirty about it; or next time I arrive at his place for some fun, announce that today I'm coming first and instruct him on how to make that happen. I realize that it's different for all women, and that he may be trying on me what's worked in the past with others to no avail. I could also wait it out a bit longer ... He's mentioned after both sessions that I didn't come, so he's definnately aware of it.
AP is chatty and interested in me and my life, so I don't think he's just using me for sex (though that's obviously what our relationship is based on).
Like most posters here, I have no intention of leaving my marriage. Believe it or not, I'm actually very happy in my marriage.