we've been hanging out again. The last woman he dated didn't work out.
anyhoo, I've come the realization that I was mean to him. Always putting him down for his past mistakes, critical of his financial skills.
Today I told him I was sorry for my behavior. He said it wasn't so much that but it was my coldness. The coldness was the result of my disappointment in him. He felt I was rejecting him and five years was long enough to keep trying.
Today we hung out in the morning. We had breakfast, went furniture shopping. I snooped again and found out he had asked out a woman who works at another major furniture store. They go on their second date tonight actually. I got mean again and tell him not to buy things from there b/c of strict return policy and beware of those sale people. they're like shark b/c they work on comission at that place. I know where to get nice things for less and I'm not trying to sell him anything. Better to date professional woman, etc...
I know I'm hurt more than anything. I even told him it's unfair for me to hold him back but I can't help it. He's rejecting me.
But then I thought how cold he was to me when he was dating that other woman. He's nice to me now b/c he doesn't have anybody. Hard to understand people's emotion.