Tomorrow is 2 weeks since D-Day. I have been wanting to post but haven't had time because of all the craziness that has happened. I have posted a few times on here, with my story being on the MAS board. Anyway, in a nutshell, I am a married woman having an affair with a married man who is my co-worker for about 4 months. Anyway, on Tues. 2/18/14, AP and I were messaging early in the AM. I told him I had to jump in the shower and that I would see him at work. I deleted the conversation as always, and jumped in the shower. When I got out of the shower, my H was standing at the vanity with my phone. The AP had sent one more (inappropriate) message after I deleted the conversation. Needless to say, I was shellshocked. I just stood there not knowing what to do. My H said some threatening remarks and retreated to the basement. I wanted to run after him and tell him it was innocent, but I knew in my heart that I was caught. I continued getting ready for work and I heard my H leave the house. I immediately contacted AP to let him know I was caught and to be on the lookout. He blocked my on FB, blocked my husband from the ability to find him on FB, blocked our phone numbers etc. I went on to work, not knowing what else to do. AP stopped by my office begging me to lie. I finally went home to my H and confessed the whole thing. He has been on a roller coaster. He was mean and insulting, he got drunk and left the house late that night. He called my AP at work and left a threatening voicemail. He texted my family members and told them. The next day I did not go to work and he changed and became a sobbing mess begging me to end the A and stay with him. Long story short, we have decided we want to work things out and have scheduled marriage counseling for next week. I had a few contacts with the AP that week. He wanted to know the status, was my H coming after him. He blocked his W FB and phone from us ever contacting her. He told her my name and that we had been texting and my H thought we were having an A, but it was a lie. I told him my H was crazy that we worked together and that he should stay away and any contact must be professional only. Last week my H went crazy and set up a fake FB account and messaged his W that it was all true. AP emailed me the next day to tell me it happened and that she told him to leave. He had told her we had met after work to talk about our problems, but that we had only “made out”, no sex. He must think she is very naïve. I told him that I sincerely hope that she would calm down and they could work things out. (I do mean this, although I am crazy about him and wish we could continue, I ultimately care about him and want him to be happy.) He then called me at work very upset, she had kicked him out and he was looking for a place to live. He asked me to beg my husband to leave his W alone, and I assured him that my H was done. His W ended up calling my H and they met for a talk. My H told her everything. He is not sure she believed him about everything, but she ensured that she was finished with him. My last contact with AP was to call him at work and let him know that his W and my H had met. I saw him the next day at work and he walked right by my door and ignored me, as I had asked. I am an emotional wreck right now. I want to work things out with my H, but I miss my AP so much! I want to email him and tell him how sorry I am. I want to know the status of his marriage. Should I? I know I should be going NC. I feel so guilty that my H wants to work our marriage out, but it sounds like his is done. I know he probably blames me that I got us caught and that my H told his W and ruined his marriage. My H is scared that he will now try to come back for me, if his M is truly over. I am anxious about that as well. I am so vulnerable to him, my feeling are so strong. Sorry this is so long. Any advice would be appreciated!