This is just a venting of sorts...not so much venting, but a sadness I have been feeling since seeing a commercial this morning for a photography studio. It showed family portraits...even ones of parents with their entire family (children and grandchildren) and it made me sad.
With DD28's wedding looming ahead (October), it just made me think of how I always thought our family portrait would look like at my daughters' weddings. Now, it will look nothing like that. I was always into family portraits and over the course of our being a family for 25 years, we had a few. I would always be the one to make the appointment, get the girls matching shirts, etc...Now, that's all over and dh's and my kids don't blend, so there will never be a full "family" picture ever again. We had one done at our wedding reception which I don't even display because dh's sons look so bad in it. Even dh said so. Anyway, I know my ex's wife's kids will be there because THEY have the blended family. She has a 23 year old daughter whom my girls have befriended and a 15 year old son who lives with them half time. Anyway, I went to my ex MIL's one time and there on the wall was a big fancy portrait of the entire "Smith" family...including HER 2 kids...girls in dresses...all the men/boys in suits and ties...all dark colors...all matching. Our family photo...dh had to BUY his sons decent collared shirts and pants as they had none. Anyway, seeing that portrait stabbed at my heart. Needless to say dh's boys and my girls barely know each other and won't be at my daughter's wedding. (None of them could afford it anyway, since it takes airfare to get there. So, "the family" will be my ex's and dh and I will be mainly "guests". :( Dh doesn't even want to go, but is to support me and I know if we were to have just a picture taken of me, dh and my daughters and SIL, dh probably wouldn't want me to display it as it doesn't include HIS kids and HE'S not their father. Plus, I could hear him saying HIS sons wouldn't like it...that THAT would be yet ANOTHER picture of MY kids. SS21, when home at Christmas threw a hissy fit because there were so many pictures of me and my girls in the basement where he used to live. (He now lives in a halfway house.) Dh told him that was unnecessary, but DID take out an old picture of him. I admit, I HAVE more pictures to display. I was a mother who loved having pictures of my kids around. NOW, dh gets upset if I add another one. DD28 and her fiance gave me a beautiful 8X12 engagement picture of them for Christmas which I put on the mantel. Dh took it down and said it wasn't going there and put it where we have some other pictures. UGH I told him my LAST husband didn't mind me displaying pictures of my kids wherever I wanted!
DD28 is getting married 1000 miles away, so my family cannot attend (too expensive), but my ex's whole family will be there along with my future son-in-law's entire family. The only family I will have there besides dh is my younger brother and his wife. Anyway, I still think it's GOT to be easier to break up a family when the kids are younger, so if you DO remarry, then the kids are young enough TO blend and feel like family. Dh's sons and my daughters will never blend and family portraits will never happen. :(
Thanks for letting me just voice my feelings.