I am an ambitous, college educated 29 year old SBF in NYC. I have never been in a serious long term relationship. I now believe it's because I have dated few guys that I shared interests or values with. The guys I've dated have been more interested in me physically and found my personality odd. I'm a creative person in a design career. My favorite music is blues-y rock and I love reading. Most of the guys I dated are black and expected me to live up to an personality that I am not. I did not want to make waves and date outside of my race for years, but now I do want to date other guys. I have in the recent past and there were a couple guys that I like. Often on dating sites like Match and OKC (I am aware of OKC's poll) I get attention from the same kind of black guys I've dated in the past or guys of other races who have an "urban" persuasion (i.e. baggy pants, hoodies and poor spelling skills). That doesn't fit my lifestyle at all. My entire dating life I've tried to date sophisticated black guys but they never seem interested. I grew up around a lot of white guys I had crushes on but in school they weren't interested in me. I've tried flirting when I encounter white guys (usually in a bar setting) but they seem only interested in hooking up that night and nothing more. Online I recieve little attention outside of the aforementioned guys. I've gone months online with no dates because I refuse to date weirdos and guys who clearly want to hook up. I am open to dating all races and I have through the years, but I want my dates to be college educated, ambitious and cultured. I just feel like guys aren't open to dating me. My profiles clearly state my interests and lifestyle but the "urban" persuasion guys ignore and message anyway. I don't recieve messages back from other race guys I wrote. How do I attract the guys I want? Any suggestions? Or should I just give up now and get another cat?