With my DD I was thinking pregnancy all the time but I wasn't scared or nervous at all during the first trimester. Ignorance is bliss. Although I was 'advanced maternal age' at 36, I considered myself young and healthy and pregnancy/birth was no big deal. With this pregnancy at age 43, I still consider myself young(ish) and healthy but I now know how *rare* it is to still be fertile in your 40s and the increased risks that go along with it. My heart goes out when I read on other ladies profiles angels lost at 7 weeks, 10 weeks, 11 weeks ... and then it sends me into a nervous spiral. Rationally I know that I have no control over the next 7 weeks until I am out the first trimester danger zone. I know that this is all in God's hands. My DH and I decided that we would try for a baby and if it was to be, it would happen. If it didn't then we would be happy with one healthy, happy little girl. We're not interested in spending $15K for fertility treatments, donor eggs, adoption, etc. etc. If something bad were to happen, it is not like there is a big window of opportunity for us to try again...so the next 49 days will be l-o-n-g for me.
Every morning I get up and my first thought is how far along I am (6w0d today!). I was working full time up until mid-June so I am enjoying spending the summer with my daughter and generally kicking back. Prenatals, healthy food , sunshine, swimming daily, reading to take my mind off of worry... I'll feel better after I see a heartbeat at my OB Appt in 10 days. I'll be over the moon when I hit week 13. In the meantime I am counting...49..48..47..