So, it's 2:06am. I am sitting in my dining room. DH is in bed, snoring away. We got into an "arguement". It wasn't a real arguement though.....and now, I am too excited to go back to bed. Maybe I should start at the begining.
OK-- I have been talking IVF, babies, IUI, charting, temping, etc, non-stop for the past 3 weeks because that's when we decided we were moving on to IVF or IUI. I realized that our 15 mins a day (he has a really crazy schedule) was so focused on TTC, we hadn't really checked in with each other lately. I felt guilty, so I promised myself that today, I was not going to mention it. Not once.
We were lying in bed, and we were talking about our plans for the weekend. He was like, "oh, btw, someone rear-ended me on the way to class. The car's ok." I instantly sat up and turned into a (I'm sad to admit) banshee. I got up and started yelling at him, why didn't you call me? Are you ok? You wait 6 HOURS to tell me you got rear ended? Did you get the guy's info? He told me he didn't, that there wasn't any damamge to the vehicles, he was running late, etc. WHATEVER. I walked over, picked up my laptop and stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I sat down at the kitchen table and started to cry.
Sitting there, I couldn't figure out why I got so irrationally angry, or why I started crying. I mean, he's ok, the car is fine, it really wasn't a big deal. After I calmed down, I thought to myself....must be PMS.....but then I realized....my AF is due tomorrow or sat....but I haven't been crampy, or had my usual salt cravings or bloating or any other symptom....then I really started to freak. I started thinking about the way I've been feeling the past week or so....my emotional blow ups, my exhaustion, a wierd boob pain yesterday, the hot flashes....IPS, or RPS, something is going on. Or it could just be stress. Either way, this is normally something I would go to DH and freak out (in a good way) about. Even if it's IPS, it's nice to pretend for that short time, right?
Except I can't. Cause it's 2am, and he's snoring. :-( MEN.