I have been holding this all in for too long I think! Poor DH didn't know what to do with me Saturday morning when I finally fell apart. **I didn't realize how long this would be until I typed it... you've been warned!**
I found out that I'll most likely be laid off this spring. :( It sounds horrible but I know I'll likely be recalled before actually losing any working time. The horrible part is that this will be the 8th time in 7 years that I'll have to move to a new school. What happened to trying to provide consistancy for students? I am so tired of being bumped from place to place.
I probably could have handled the lay-off issue okay but I found that out Friday afternoon and then had another BFN on Saturday morning. I had been hopeful since I was on increased meds and I O'd on vacation. I should know better than to get my hopes up at all... Then I could just be shocked if something actually happens and I end up with a BFP.
Then to top it all off, my dog got into something outside that made her VERY sick and she was sick all over the (carpeted) living room floor. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just started to cry and I couldn't stop at all for at least half an hour. I'm not a big crier but I just couldn't stop.
Last night I was chatting with my mom (online - she's away traveling). She doesn't get my drama queen/stressed out/everything is the end of the world attitude at all sometimes. Usually she's really supportive but she decided to say to me that, "Unless you both have full time jobs, you can't afford to buy a house, go on vacation and start a family." Gee thanks. That really helped me feel better about the situation. Definitely made me not want to start crying again! My response was, "I have to go help DH with dinner now. Bye." She tries sometimes to get it but she can't help being "right" and feeling she needs to tell me. I'm well aware of our situation and I really don't need to be reminded of what we "should" have.
Ugh! I'm just so depressed and frustrated right now that it's hard to think. I have to make some decisions related to the lay off situation and I don't know what to do. I don't think going into this first IUI cycle with so much stress is a good idea but I'm having a hard time letting it go.
So now I've vented... I don't know if I feel much better but I guess it does help to put it all down in writing. Let's see - Lay-off, BFN, sick dog, Mom not understanding. I think I got it all.
Has anyone had experience with counsellors? I think I might need one. For now, anyway, I'm covered for that through my employer (Anonymous too, which is good. None of their beeswax!) so maybe I should take advantage.