After reading through the board selections, I think this is the closest fit for my issue. I think my low self-esteem is the underlying factor of what I think is behavior that is not normal for a marriage.
My husband goes through phases (many lately) where he does not speak to me, is consistently rude to me every time I try to initiate a conversation, tells me to get away when I try to initiate affection (it's okay when he wants affection), basically treats me like I'm not even here. I am completely torn up inside. I know he's not seeing anyone else (he's always here). He does have a friendship (a guy friend) from a long time ago that he tells me is more important than our marriage because that person was in his life before me and will be there after me. What does that mean? I thought marriage was a forever kind of thing. We do nothing together. If I ask him to even come outside and sit with me, it's like I've asked him to move the Earth (and he doesn't do it). He just is extremely inconsiderate and unappreciative of me, and I feel like he could care less if I was here or not. I'm not an ugly person on the inside or outside, but why do I think this is okay? Part of me is telling me this is not what life is supposed to be like. Part of me is scared of the unknown. I don't have any friends or any family close by, so I don't talk to anyone about my feelings. Counseling is out of the question for the two of us. He's gone so far as to say one day he will probably just get tired of things, not say anything, and just walk out and for me not to be surprised. I haven't done anything to him to deserve this. This is kind of a ramble, but I'm really confused right now. Any advice? Is this a normal way for a man to act in any relationship? I feel like I'm just in the way.