BIG RANT ....
Oh dear, I am now depressed and it's my own fault.
I was chatting to a medium who told me things about my family that made me feel really sad, I guess it's what I know already but yet again makes me realise I have no control over the situation.
She said there was a lack of communication with family and there was a lot of stress with that situation, she said there was a very controlling man with 2 kid (my stepdad) and that my family have excluded me.
She said they don't like that I don't follow the family values and also that they see me as having an easy life and there seems to be resentment and lots of family issues.
She also said there will be a fight for family inheritence in the future and I am now feeling quite stressed at that thought.
I have been full of optimism of late and hoped things would improve with my mom.
It makes me realise that it really isn't an issue of me accepting them as they are but more about them excluding me, all my previous rants were an expression on hurt at being excluded.
It's really unbelievable, it's so petty and ridiculous and how on earth do they think they can take the moral highground after all that has happened with my father.
I seemed to have been made scapegoat for all their frustrations, upsets and so on.
THEY are the ones who desperately need therapy. I thought it was weird that my sister in law only replied to my invite to the party after going to mom and stepdads, guess they wanted to see what would be the collective course of action.
I ask God why I was given this family, there is no love no support no care just a constant supply of headaches and stresses and NO ACCOUNTABILITY.
I wish I had not invited them to my birthday party now, no doubt it will be b*tched about behind my back.
I can't do anything right by them, it's totally ridiculous. It's why I find it so strange when people say nice things to me as I am so used to family making me feel totally miserable and bad about myself.
So I gave up a long time ago trying to be what they wanted me to be and still I am in the wrong, I could quite happily not see them again if how I feel right now is anything to go by.
Just had to get that off my chest