I want to thank everyone who helped me with my body memory of my mom perhaps trying to strangle me as a baby. I'll never know for sure but I can feel pretty sure, which I do.

But there's a new "wrinkle" in the memory process. I think it was coming back for a reason....a very BAD reason. I've posted some of this on a couple of other boards until I made the connection this weekend.

Two and a half years ago I had major spine surgery on my neck. I had something called cervical spondylomylopathy, a combination of severe arthritis, 3 herniated disks and damage from a severe beating by my father. I was slowly becoming paralyzed from the waist down and my hands from compression of my spinal cord.

The surgery went great....for 3 months. For unknown reasons, my neck just ripped apart and went from curved inward to curved outward, re-crushing my spinal cord. I had to have emergency surgery to fuse my neck from C3(almost to the skull)to T1 at the top of my shoulders. I almost died and woke up with almost no use of my left side and brain damage. I've worked long and hard to overcome the damage to both my muscles and brain.

Three weeks ago I ended up in the ER with what I thought was a small stroke or TIA(mini-stroke). My left side was weak and numb. The tests seemed to point to my neck. Last Wednesday my arthritis doc confirmed it appears I have damaged my neck above the fusion. There are only 2 bones above the fusion.....C2 and the atlas bone at the base of the skull. You need both bones to move your head. He thinks I've herniated the disk below C2. I've lost movement to the left side of my head, my neck is extremely painful and the numbness and weakness keeps appearing and disappearing. I fear I'm in for another life threatening surgery in the near future.

I now think my body memory surfaced to warn me of what was happening in my body. It began about the same time I noticed the earliest signs of trouble in my neck. I wasn't at all concerned about the signs at that time but I think the body memory was warning me that I was in big trouble and to take it seriously. I never would have gone to the ER had the body memory not told me to listen to my body.

So I have learned something new about body memories. They may show up for a reason. Mine was warning me that something bad was going on. I will listen more carefully in the future!

gentle hugs...........JennyB