I'm starting with a new therapist next Monday. Still going to see the old one for couples therapy under hubby's insurance but since I now have Medicare and he doesn't take it, I have to find a new one just for me and I start the search on Monday. I've talked to him once and he seems nice so I'm hoping to have found another winner.
So I decided to write down a lot of my psych history especially the recently remembered abuse. And I found myself at a loss for words on one thing(yeah...me...right...). There is vaginal rape and anal rape but what do you called forced oral sex...oral rape? Forced oral sex? Forced oral penetration? I'm trying to portray an act of great force and not coersion.....but grabbed from behind a partially closed door, forced to my knees and him jamming his penis down my throat. What do I call it? Any suggestions?
I've never broken my abuse down like this...physical abuse that has impacted my health, sexual abuse, self-inflicted injuries that have affected my health....it's a different way to look at it. It's all about what it's done to my body and not just my mind. It's making me see some things I hadn't seen before...like where my obesity has come from....neglect. And my focus for the new T will be the neglect as I now believe that it may play just as big a roll in my life as any of the abuse. I hadn't even looked at that before. Just one more form of abuse.
At least Leo is home.