The last two weeks have been quite up and down emotionally. I feel great one moment, then not so great the next. Today I joined the church that I have been wanting to go to for a few years. One of my friends came with me. We had a great time, and a wonderful lunch afterwards. I am proud of myself for finally going and doing something that I know will benefit me in the long run. As I have been feeling very stuck for awhile, and wanting to do something more meaningful with my life. However, now that I am home, and only have some studying to do for a test. I am feeling very sad. I have not been able to sleep that well lately. Because I miss my ex bf so much. I have tried so hard to remain positive, and to focus on myself and growing and learning. However, all that does is push how I am feeling to the side. I am trying to respect my feelings and just let myself experience those feelings. However, nothing takes away the hurt I am feeling inside. Everyone that knows me is so impressed how well I am doing, and says how relaxed and happy I come across. Which is true, because I am happy that my life is more balanced right now. However, at the same time there is this void. My life is not dependent upon my ex bf. But he just added something extra special to my life. I am really just not doing well.He has been in my life for over 9 years. So it is really hard for me.
Thanks for listening.