Before the meeting our 12 year was her typical self. After the meeting the mood took a big drop. She mooped around. We both asked her what was wrong and got oh nothing. Then I took her in our bedroom to ask her to tell me what is wrong. I'm so stressed out she states. I ask about what. She's says school and that she is sick of being in school. I told her I can understand but be patient it's out soon. I ask if that's all. She's starts to talk then heistates. I said anything else. She then goes on about how she wants to get new things she wants a playstation 2, a swimming pool installed in our backyard and new gameboy advance games. I told her that she could save for some of this stuff. She wants it now. She's bored and knows that summers coming up and wants it now. I tell her that we just bought a new air conditioner, we're going on vacation a week after school is out, they are going to camp and other things. We can't afford a swimming pool this year. That doesn't matter to her she wants one because her two friends have one. I tell her to go eat her dinner because I can tell she's not listening. The conversation was just going no where. She states the food I prepared for her doesn't have any taste and she won't eat it. I tell her to sit at the table and eat it. She's eatten the same food in the past with no complaints.
She sits at the table mad at me and refuses to eat the food. Her dad comes down stairs. I take him aside and tell him what she says. He tells her that she needs to eat her food and they'd talk. She gets mouthy and refuses to eat it. I tell her she can forget about talking to her friends on the phone because of her mouth. She gets mad asks if she can stop eating. Dad says yes and she goes into our bedroom and locks the door. I thought she went to the bathroom but she's going all out to put on a show. Her dad tells her to open the door and she refuses. He raises his voice and tells her to open the door. She refuses again and he yells open the door. Our bedroom door has a key lock and he opens it with his key. Tells her to go to her room and they will talk now.
They go up and talk and she tells him how bored she is. All she has in her life is school, she has her own tv and dvd player a nintendo 64, her telephone and the use of our computer. She wants more in her life. My husband suggests sports and other things. She comes down and watches tv with me but at first won't talk to me. I think she's be silly but encourage her to talk to me.
Next morning her dad gets her to do some cleaning up because the night before she refused to do her chores for that day. I tell her I want to talk to her before she leaves for school. Our conversation leads back to what happened last night. She still states that she thinks we should buy her a swimming pool, playstation 2 and other items. I tell her she's not going to get everything she wants. The more I talk the more attitude she gets. So I turn to both of them and just say I'm done with conversation.
My husband calls back after he drops her off and we disagree about how I handled the ending. That it hurt her feelings. I told him I don't want to go any further because it would just anger me more. He wants me to find a more positive way to handle it in the future. I want to ring both of their necks and tell him that I think our conversation should end because he's upsetting me and I need to get our other daughter off to school.
My 12 year old daughter has narrowed her likes down to nothing this year. The things she is interested is are things that her two friends are interested in and weren't brought up til they said something about them. She was afraid of going into middle school because the school is a large middle school. I let her decide what she wanted to participate in because I wanted to see the homework load on her. She did great stayed in the honor roll all year. The problem is she use to have interests of her own and would tell us what she wanted to do. Now she doesn't have any hobbies, or interests that like I said don't involve what her friends like. I have seen this coming but wanted to wait til summer to encourage a change for 7th grade.
I'm not going to have her act like this tonight but don't know how to get her head out of her behind so to speak. We did pick up some paperwork at lunchtime about girls clubs she could get involved in over the summer on the base. The other girls have no military identification to get in these clubs. I like both the girls but would like to see her have her own identity back. Any similar problems? Any suggestions for tonight and this summer? Thanks!