I just read gtcmwong's discussion and am in a similar boat, but a little different. It helped so much to read the reply's , I thought I'd actually post my own! I have a dd who will be 3 Dec. 6th and a ds who is turning 1 Sept. 6th. I am fortunate to be a stay home mom and I looooove being a mommy. Now I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be wanting more than 1 child before my 1st was born, but the second I saw her angelic face I knew I wanted at least 1 more and we were fortunate enough to get pregnant right away when my fertility returned after my dd's 1st b-day(delayed period due to breastfeeding). It wasn't easy goint through morning sickness and all the preg. woes while caring for a little one but I'm so glad we did it. 21 months apart seemed perfect and they are so adorably close all ready! Here I am again. Our original plan was to wait for a 3rd(which I knew I'd want the second ds was born) until ds is 3 and dd is 5. Well after my fertility returned a couple months ago, I found myself praying for an "accident"(we use "Pull-out" method since I didn't like IUD). An accident hasn't happened...but my dh was getting the picture and after we discussed it and he thought about it seriously, he decided we should go for it now. I know this is getting so lengthy..I'm sorry!. Well this thrilled me and I'm just getting period now, waiting for the big ovulation coming up this month in a couple weeks, but I'm finding myself laying awake at night wondering how I'll manage 2 little ones while morning sickness is killing me, and how I'll deal with 3 children under the age of 4. Or what if something goes wrong with me or the baby? I can't leave my healthy little babies I all ready have motherless should the worst happen. I do have some help with family but I can't always count on them as they are all very busy and my dh works all the time. Am I taking on too much? Pushing the envelope a little too far? I know I had all these worries when we decided to conceive #2, but it wasn't this bad. Not to mention friends and relatives all saying I'm crazy to want a third...that I'm asking for trouble. They make me feel so guilty, like I should just be happy I got away with 2 healthy childeren and shut up. I don't even talk to them about it any more. The truth is though, I just turned 30, I defitely would regret not having at least 1 more. I even see 4 as a possibility down the line. Should I just pray and leave this all in God's hands or should I wait a few more years? I so badly want to do this now...we loved the 21 month age difference. I know I'm rambling, forgive me. I'm so emotional over this right now it's horrible...I'm consumed by it and I should just be enjoying the 2 beautiful children I have. What is wront with me? Any input, thoughts, personal experiences, advice regarding this is so welcome. It would help me so much to connect with other women who feel the same as the only one's I know think I'm nuts.