I am one of the former CLs of the TTC > 40 Board. I have been here on and off since late 2005, following a brief stay at the TTC After MC Board. So it is safe to say that I have a long history with this Board. I was a Member, then a CL, then a Graduate, and then a "senior statesman", and then a lurker. I have seen many women come and go... some with tears of joy, and some with just tears. I have felt able to support each one and I have had tremendous support from this Board and its Members.
I see a concerning development of late that I can't stop myself from commenting on. When I read the posts lately - I get a feeling that there are people on the Board who are here to get information and support, but do not seem to give information or support. That's just not how iVillage and these Boards are supposed to work.
I am not chastising anyone. I want to be clear about that. There could be many reasons why someone would ask questions and never answer any, or seek support and not post support to others. Maybe some Members don't think they have any information to share... This is just not the case. Even the newest newbie can share an experience or write about a report they read or what their doctor said... or failing that just post a note saying, "You know, I don't have an answer - but I hope you find one!" This may seem useless, but it isn't. It shows the person who posted the question that someone actually read it and is encouraging them on their way to an answer.
Similarly, we all need support and encouragement sometimes. When someone is down - that should be the longest thread on the Board. If you think you might ever need support - you should give support. Pay it forward. Always. Every time.
So, I guess my long story short goes like this: The best relationships are based on reciprocity. This is true of marriages, friendships, acquaintanceship... whatever the nature or intensity of the relationship - it works best when both people are giving to it and taking from it the same measure.
What we have here is a lot of relationships. They will work best and the Board will function best if we give information and get information in equal measure, and if we give support and take support the same way.
TTC is a time where we become very pre-occupied with ourselves, and our own situations and our own needs. The best remedy for that is to share what you have with others. Be sensitive to the feelings of those who are not having successes and need support, and to give whatever you can to those who need info... even if it is just a few kind words.
Can I get an "Amen!" ??
Edited because I can't type before coffee, and I tried to.
Edited 7/8/2010 3:10 pm ET by kingmaker_inc