I pop in here from time to time because some of you are "veterans" at this thing, so I'm back for some new advice.
My oldest step-daughter has ADHD and will turn 12 soon. We're starting to struggle with the issue of personal hygiene. We've made some progress with her but we're still not getting through to her on some issues. We question occasionally if she uses soap and shampoo when she showers. We asked her and she says she does but without monitoring her while in the shower, we aren't 100% sure and we aren't about to violate her privacy while she's using the shower. The other issue is with hair brushing. She would rather have her hair tangled and look an absolute mess rather than brushing it. She gets snippy about it when we tell her to brush it but reluctantly does so.
She's reached the stage where she cares (almost too much) about kids liking her. We've explained to her frequently about the necessity of personal hygiene and the importance of keeping clean but it often feels like we're beating our heads against a brick wall. I work in public education and so I've seen first-hand how kids can ostracize fellow classmates who don't practice good personal hygiene.
Can anyone help us out?