I think that we are headed for our daughter being diagnosed ADHD, she is only 3.5 years old. This is very long, I appreciate anyone willing to read it and any advice they have. TIA

A little back ground:
I am 30 my DH is 31, we have 3 daughters ages 6.5, 3.5, and 9 months. We have always known that our 3.5 year old is “different” even my pregnancy was different she kicked me so much people thought I was having twins because my stomach was always moving. She walked at 8 months, ran and started climbing our furniture at 9 months, could open child proof locks at 18 months. Our house is like Fort Knoxs , double locks and bells on every door that leads outside. Her cries have always been louder, her tantrums more intense. It took me the first 18 months to stop comparing her to my first born and wondering “what went wrong?”, “why is she so horrible?” It was about this time that I purchased the book, “Raising your Spirited Child” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It became my bible in understanding my DD, practically everything in it described my daughter. I found myself reading it every 3 months or so just to reassure myself and to make me feel better about the situation.

Presently:
Our DD is actually doing somewhat better in the last 4 months or so and I don’t feel like I have to constantly be “on-guard” worrying about where she is or what she is getting into. She started preschool this year and is doing alright but hasn’t made as much progress with her behavior as her teacher or I would have like to have seen by this point.

The most concerning of her behavior is she is impulsive. She hits, kicks, breaks things without thinking. I can tell she feels bad about it afterward because she says “Oh, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry” She honestly can’t control her action. She is also Defiant. This is the biggest problem at school. They will ask her to (an example) stop eating play dough several times and she will stop acknowledge them and then look them in the eye and stick it in her mouth. Hyperactive, yes she is hyperactive and always has been. She can’t sit still ever. Sometimes I feel like I am tiptoeing though a mine field when I am around her, because I don’t want to set her off. Once she starts to loose control I don’t know how to calm her/distract her. She just locks in.

I asked her teacher if she thought we needed to see a behavioralist. She thinks we do. I am starting to think we do too. I feel like my other two children are not getting the attention they deserve because everything is about my DD. I can’t take them to movies, to certain parks or fun activities because of her. It seems like our whole house is based on if she is having a “good day or bad day.”

I don’t really care if she is diagnosed or not. I just want some Help. I want to try and help her learn how to control her impulses and be able to calm her self down before she reaches a boiling point. I want to start working on it now before things really get out of hand and she is a 6 year old unable to control things and to physically large for me to carry away from the situation. I am not looking for drugs at this point but am open to diet changes and parenting suggestions. We are going to start talking to the district child psychologist they just gave us the forms BASC-2 and a sensory profile to fill out by us and her teacher.

I just wanted to explain our current situation and ask for any advise or suggestions for the road that we are starting to go down.

Thanks!

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