I have been lurking for a while with a post here and there in response to others, but thought I would go ahead and poke my head up. I'm Caren. DS is 3.5 yo just dx with mild to moderate High Functioning Autism/Asperger's. He has been followed by an autism team since he was 11 months old as he had a few red flags. Last year he was dx with SID. So he had a stint of OT and play therapy last year. We had issues with the OT not being the right one for him, so we have only recently found the 'right' fit. He has made huge progress in the past year. So much so that to be honest, I was surprised by his Dx. At 24 months, DS excelled in language (more words than imaginable, reading, and spelling at that time), but in his last eval, he struggled with the interpretation of language. That does not make much sense to me, but I understand testing percentiles, so yes, it is a problem. He is currently in OT again and starts Social this week and Speech next week.
I have become really good about identifying situations that will be successful stepping stones for DS. The autism team did a great job teaching me how to identify comfort and to slowly scaffold onto a positive experience. I am so grateful for our autism team. Anyhow, during the Spring, I had him enrolled in a Montessori school 2 days a week per recommendation from the autism team. DS did better than I expected. I did not tell the teacher about his issues, as I wanted to see how he would do in a 'normal' environment; I did tell her he was there for social exposure and those updates were the ones of most interest to me. At the end of the year, I clued her in so that she could learn the signs as well. We had some behavior at home due to stress, but I bore the brunt of most of it. I found a soccer class that fits all his sensory needs, is small enough to not be a challenge socially, etc. and he LOVES it.
So from all the positive things he has accomplished, my take on the diagnosis was that he needs a little help socially and with senses, but overall, he will easily be mainstreamed.
Then Sat happened. His Spring soccer class is not being offered in the summer. Instead he has to attend a Sat class - HUGE class, class at the same time as others in the same area, coach screaming to try to maintain control instead of encouraging the slower ones along, etc. Within 5 mins, DS started stimming like I have not seen in about a year. The coach yelled at him for being excited about soccer (she was explaining instructions, he thought it meant go time) and he was done. He stayed with the group and did not leave/come to us, but he did not listen to ANY instruction provided from the coaches. They basically lost his respect and he wasn't about to do anything they told him to (which of course, made the situation worse). We pulled him out part-way through class, I am trying to find a better fit again, yada, yada, yada.
Anyhow - I am finally getting to my questions. Are we always going to have to really 'place' DS into the right situations? Are we looking at a lifetime of OT, Speech, and Social? Are things going to get worse? If so, how? Another concern is his independence. Don't get me wrong, I love that he is not subject to peer pressure at this age, but it is not due to confidence, it is due to the fact he really does not care. How do I teach him how to be a friend if he could not care less? How do you teach him to be friendly yet also be aware of dangerous situations?
I guess I am still adjusting to my reality. It is strange because at home, he fits our family so well, we do not notice that he is different. Neither DH nor I are very social people, which I think does not help the situation that much either.
Thanks for listening if you made it this far.