He's going to be 10 in December. His mom won't medicate under any circumstances. She's getting a degree in mental health and agrees with his diagnosis but doesn't believe medication would be any good for her son. Not that I disagree, but I'm open to hearing options. His bio parents split when he was 2 and I met and married his dad shortly thereafter. We have alternate weekend visitation. He has one full bio brother (8) and one half sister (3) and one half brother (1). They (he and his brother and mom)live two cities away from us and therefore don't go to school in our district. He is in public school, but he's currently in the BIP program. Can't remember what it stands for at the moment, but it's a locked down classroom for students with behavioral problems. There are 6 kids and 2 teachers and 2 paraeducators. At this point he is refusing to go to school about 1/3 the time and when he does go he's in the time out room 1/2 the time. He has no friends and very few social skills. He's sneaky and mean whenever he gets the chance. At his mother's he does nothing but play video games. We don't have video games in our home so he reads a lot and spends a lot of time being bored. He can't stand me because he thinks his parents would get married again if I were dead (his words). He's horrible to me - talking back, not telling the truth, hurting his brother, disrespectful. A couple weeks ago he threatened to get a knife and stab me while I sleep. He's lazy, he whines about everything you ask him to do. He thinks he should be in charge and everything would be fine. I know I sound horrible too. At this point I can hardly stand him. I honestly beleive in his diagnosis. I want to help him, but I also believe that he's a product of his enviornment and that a lot of his behaviors could be changed if his mom really wanted to help him. He has no chores - doesn't even dress himself or make his bed. He gets 20 dollars a week allowance which he spends on t-rated video games. I'm just at my wits end. I feel pathetic, but I'm so depressed about this and I don't know what I can do. Often when he's here his dad is working or busy with another child and I am just lost as to how to handle this kid that my brain tells me needs to go to boot camp or something (feeble attempt at humor). He hates me and I can't stand him so how do I convince him that I still love him. I know I have to start by changing myself and I swear I try to see the good in him - if you have any ideas I'd love to hear them. I don't get offended easily so feel free to give me your honest opinions. At this point I'm willing to listen to anything.