I found out about Asperger's by accident...but everything I've read about it describes my DS (8YO) to a T! He's had problems at school (suspended 3X in two years), he's a "problem child" with "permissive parents" (so we are so often told). He does many of the inappropratie things I've read on this board. From the beginning I've said he totally lacks any empathy...like the whole family could disapper and he could care less (many sleepless and tear-filled nights).
He's seen 4 therapists (one who blamed me for my son's behavior, one who said that yuppies thought children were just fancy pets). We are just starting the process at school to have him evaluated. He did the Gifted testing last year (first time for a 1st grader) and has a 126 IQ (130 is gifted). He told me "the test was boring so I started saying 'I don't know' so I could leave."
When I started reading about Asperger's I called his current therapist and she said that it's just another fancy label like ADD. But I don't think so! AND...quite frankly...I'd rather he be labeled as having Asperger's than, "Bad, rude, defiant, bully" etc.
He has an obsessive nature about different things (currently mythology), reads at a 5th grade level (mostly nonfiction or fantasy), can be the sweetest most charming boy around adults but refuses to engage in any activities with his peers. He does play very well with his 6yo sister but "hates her" and "wishes she would go away". When he chooses...he can compete his homework in minutes or in hours...with long, exhausting, angry tantrums that way exceed the two math problems that I KNOW he can answer.
So...how do I deal with a therapist who doesn't seem interested in labeling him and a school who wants to say he's ADD and ODD (NOT ADD, he is oppositional but not to how they describe it). The school seems very quick to get hime out (which is why I'm pushing for the testing---if he gets an IEP, they have to work with him).
He doesn't have some of the "ticks" that get describedwith Asperger's, but he CONSTANTLY picks his finger nails...they are tiny stubs and he does it ALL the time.
Any advice would be appreciated. I feel like I shouldn't "join" any groups because he hasn't been diagnosed, but at the same time, I feel like there are easier diagnoses that the school will provide. They are very much of the mindset that my husband and I are excessively permissive...and my parents say we are excessively strict (so we must be just right). We don't see some of the behaviors that the school sees, but we set very clear rules and NEVER give him any breaks or he IMMEDIATELY takes advantage. I actually punished him with losing Halloween one year and he could have cared less...didn't act like it bothered him in the slightest.
Thanks so much!!!
somegraphx (Erin, 6YO, Sean 8YO)