but still need some concrete answers. i am basically family-less (other than dh and my 4 kids). my mother is non existant. i've come to realize she never really wanted kids. it's not just a 'negative' feeling i have, it's the truth. long story. plus she is not even in state. fine. my dad is in state but comes once a month when he wants to feel 'grandfatherly'. my dh's family is all nuts and they live in another state anyways. so it's just us. the holidays are very dreary. we don't have tons of friends, as most people here seem to not want to 'deal with' parents with more than 2 kids, etc. i have one friend and she's pretty nice who puts up with me and my 'large' family. but i am looking to find a more family type grandmother/father figure for the kids. i know we have ourselves. it just kinda gets lonely at the holidays. sitting at home by ourselves, etc. granted, we have a good time, talk, etc. but i think it would be so much more if we had others to invite over or be invited over to others houses. any ideas/thoughts?