The Power-Over Verbal Abuser's Reality (9-17)
The Power-Over Verbal Abuser's Reality
It is perfectly logical, and quite sane behavior...in the verbal abuser’s reality. Power-over another or others is the way of life and survival. Does this mean that the verbal abuser is happy in hurting another? No, not necessarily. But they are happy with the feeling of power-over that other. Verbal abuse always prevents real, meaningful relationships.
Reclaiming Your Personal Power Reality - "Asking For Change" ( 9-17)
Reclaiming Your Personal Power Reality -
"Asking For Change"
The basic rights in a relationship are:
- the right to good will from the other
- the right to emotional support
- the right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy
- the right to have your own view, even if your mate has a different view
- the right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real
GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS OF VERBAL ABUSE ( 9-17)
GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS OF VERBAL ABUSE:
1. Verbal abuse is hurtful.
2. Verbal abuse attacks the nature and abilities of the partner
3. Verbal abuse may be over (angry outbursts and name calling) or covert (subtle, like brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse is usually blaming and accusatory and subsequently confusing to the partner. Covert verbal abuse...being hidden aggression is even more confusing...it’s crazy-making.
Sweet Baby Syndromes (How He Gets To Come Back) ( 9-17)
Sweet Baby Syndromes (How He Gets To Come Back)
1. Honeymoon Syndrome : also known as "Hearts and Flowers" any bribe that will get her to return to him.
2. Super Dad Syndrome : he tells her that he will be a great dad if she returns. This works especially if he has neglected the kids in the past.
Letting Go ( 9-17)
Letting Go
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means you can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut yourself off, it is the realization you can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in your hands.
To let go it not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of yourself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
Why Does The Battered Victim Stay? ( 9-17)
( these are just a few reasons)
Why Does The Battered Victim Stay?
Loneliness.
Does not want to leave their children.
Has no place to go.
Lacks financial resources and employment skills.
Hopes their partner will change.
Does not know where, or how to seek help.
Fears reprisals from their partner. Is afraid of what the partner will do the them and their Children if they try to leave.
Is afraid to live without partner.
Enabling & Enabling Behaviors ( 9-17)
Enabling & Enabling Behaviors
Enabling
Denying the problem exists.
Ignoring the person I have a concern about.
Criticizing or putting down.
Checking up on or watching another's behavior.
Taking on another's financial or psychological behavior.
Helping someone out of a crisis they created, thereby alleviating their plan.
Letting someone's behavior control me or my response to them.
Stewing about a problem.
Traits of an Abusive Personality Are you Missing or Ignoring them? ( 9-17)
Traits of an Abusive Personality Are you Missing or Ignoring them?
Are you being abused? Could you be living with an abuser and not realize it? Please read the following carefully and completely before answering.
Does Your Partner/Spouse Show Signs of UNCONTROLLABLE JEALOUSY?
Is your partner/spouse excessively possessive?
Does he/she constantly call for no apparent reason?
Important Truths ( 9-17)
Religious beliefs will and do NOT prevent battering.
Domestic violence is usually NOT a one time event or isolated incident.
Battering is a pattern, a reign of force and terror.
Once violence begins in a relationship, it gets worse and more frequent over a period of time.
Battering is NOT just one physical attack.
Battering is a number of tactics IE: Intimidation, threats, economic deprivation, psychological and sexual abuse used REPEATEDLY.
Power and Control ( 9-17)
Read the contents below and then ask yourself:
What Symptoms Below Fit My Life of The Life of Someone I Know?
Using Coercion and Threats
*Making or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her* *Threatening to leave her, To commit suicide, To report her to welfare* *Making her drop charges* *Making her do illegal things*
Using Intimidation
*Making her afraid by using looks, gestures, or actions* *Smashing things* *Abusing Pets* *Displaying Weapons*
Using Emotional Abuse
