Start setting limits: ( 9-2)
Start setting limits:
Even if he thinks it is justified, you will not accept it.
Even if he thinks it is a joke, you will not accept it.
Even if he does not understand, you will not accept it.
Even if he says it is your fault, you will not accept it.
Even if he says you do not know what you’re talking about, you will not accept it.
Even if he says you are just trying to be right, you will not accept it.
Even if he says you are a bitch, you will not accept it.
Definition of Domestic Abuse (please read, very good) (9-2)
Definition
Domestic violence is a learned pattern of behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other person. The partners may be married or not maried, gay or lesbian, living together, separated or dating.
Examples of domestic violence are:
The Ideal Reality ( 9-2)
The Ideal Reality ( from the creator of the WebUniversity site)
Reclaiming Your Personal Power Reality -"Asking For Change".. your basic rights in a relationship ( 9-2)
"Asking For Change" (from WebUniversity) The basic rights in a relationship are:
- the right to good will from the other
- the right to emotional support
- the right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy
- the right to have your own view, even if your mate has a different view
- the right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real
The Power-Over Verbal Abuser's Reality ( 9-2)
The Power-Over Verbal Abuser's Reality ( from WebUniversity)
It is perfectly logical, and quite sane behavior...in the verbal abuser’s reality. Power-over another or others is the way of life and survival. Does this mean that the verbal abuser is happy in hurting another? No, not necessarily. But they are happy with the feeling of power-over that other. Verbal abuse always prevents real, meaningful relationships.
Responding With Impact To Verbal Abuse ( 9-2)
Responding With Impact To Verbal Abuse (from webuniversity)
Verbal abuse is violation, not conflict. As such, it is boundary violation....this far, no further. It intrudes upon or disregards one’s self boundary. It is rejection of your self, the you of you; it is painful, and it is toxic.
Responses to Verbally Abusive tactics:
1 - To Withholding (which is the purposeful 'silent' treatment)
Here's a question
Can an abused person become an abuser and be both abused and abuser in a relationship? My bf and I are in final negotiations on him leaving. Lately he's been saying he's been better (though I don't see that much improvement), and I have been abusing him.
STRESSED OUT!
A male friend of mine made some interesting comments to me just recently about "sweet talker syndrome", or "overcompensating syndrome" (by him - for the savagery hidden invisible deep inside) , and thus reasons and comments for the overprotective behavior shown by the abuser in the initial sweet stages of the romance. The savagery comes to the surface later . Rises up. I’ll update on it later.
STRESSED OUT!
A male friend of mine made some interesting comments to me just recently about "sweet talker syndrome", or "overcompensating syndrome" (by him - for the savagery hidden invisible deep inside) , and thus reasons and comments for the overprotective behavior shown by the abuser in the initial sweet stages of the romance. The savagery comes to the surface later . Rises up. I’ll update on it later.
GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS OF VERBAL ABUSE: ( 9-1)
GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS OF VERBAL ABUSE:
1. Verbal abuse is hurtful.
2. Verbal abuse attacks the nature and abilities of the partner
3. Verbal abuse may be over (angry outbursts and name calling) or covert (subtle, like brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse is usually blaming and accusatory and subsequently confusing to the partner. Covert verbal abuse...being hidden aggression is even more confusing...it’s crazy-making.
