Feeling lonely, sad, and hopeless...I almost wish...(m)
H sent a message to us........
here goes:
"Your the only woman for me. I love you. I keep three hearts close to my heart, you, and the two kids. Im on Zoloft now. Im really doing better and feeling better. Jail changed me and made me see. Im going to change. We all need to be together and not throw what we had away. Im not doing very well, I miss you all very badly."
There was more but I cut it short......
What do you all think about this one?
I guess I should be careful what I wish for........
On post 16 I was feeling lost and confused and missing him with my heart, yet I knew with my head that I was doing the right thing. I wrote:
"Part of me wants him to do something horrific so that I'll know without a doubt that I'm doing the right thing. Yet I really don't want to be subjected to any more abuse, or for him to hurt anybody else."
Then in post 24, I told you about the conversation I had with my young daughters, and what they disclosed to me.
Feeling sorry for myself
You know how they saym God only gives you what you can handle? I don't think it's true.
I can't handle my daughter much more. She's 21, mentally retarded, and mean,
She's not mean in any form I'm used to seeing here She's mentally retardeed, She screams. Screams!! Bites. Yells. A 21-year old screaming and tantruming like a 2 year old. Her babysitter quit. Her step mother. Wife of ex-husband that does nothing to help with her,
I am so angry, I could kill him!
I had an interesting talk with my 8yo tonight...
To Rainn4, Happy Belated One Year of Freedom...
A passage to share from my angel friend named Mary...
just wanted to share this poem. My friend Mary has been an angel during this whole thing. We have been friends for over 10 years and have been there for each other through the good times and bad, however, although I told her, I don't think she realizes the enormity of what she has done for me this year. Phone calls, dinners, cards in the mail. Even though we have friends, we all know, the pain of deep grief is very lonely. Beside you guys, she has been my rock. Anyway, here it is...
A NEW STRENGTH
A Different Kind of Valentine of Newfound Freedom
Notice of Eviction
I hereby give notice that on this day you are forever evicted from my life. This house of love has turned to anger. But thankfully I have the power of controlled anger, unlike yourself and your vicious inhumane treatment of the tenants and their rights.
I ask that you return the keys to my heart, your deposit cannot be returned because of broken promises and damaged lives.
