Did the room memories exercise-I don't see others here-I'm new- I'd love some feedback


Nov. exercise.(m)


This is cheating a little, but this is the opening scene of a short story murder mystery, called Murder By Mule, I'm working on. So any feedback will be welcome.

Linda


Nov. Exercise--A Veteren's Day Memorial


A Veterens Day Memorial

Sargeant John Green was pushed forward and stumbled to the ground. His face took the brunt of it, his hands were tied behind his back, preventing him from breaking the fall. Stirred up dirt choked him. He landed on the stoney ground, sending his already bruised head throbbing again. He blinked several times to clear his eyes, then glanced up at Private Joe Montego. He could barely recognize the kid’s baby face through the swollen black and blue mess.


I'm a newbie. Posted once before...


...a long while ago, before my daughter was born. Mothers, especially new mothers, you know my inspiration and this fear I think that we all have. Others, you can imagine. This is not an exercise, at least not one posted for this month! Just some thoughts... the exercise will come later! Please don't lay on the criticism too thick!

-Nicole-


RE-POST FOR fo paws: Another Newbie- November Exercise


Nov exercise (m)


Oh darn, you wanted a dramatic scene. Well, this is about as dramatic as it gets. It's set in 1st c AD Roman Britain, part of something much longer, and a scene I rewrote from a minor character's pov, just for the heck of it.

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Comments about show vs. tell (m)


Another Newbie - November Exercise


Nov. exercise - Mickey's Mistake (some strong language)


This is the hook (at least I hope it's a hook!) from a short story I'm working on, and with any luck it's a "show don't tell." What do you think? I don't much like the first sentence but haven't been able to come up with a better one. Feedback greatly appreciated. - Sara

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Nov. Exercise (Newbie:) (m)

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