November Exercise......The minutes that Count
NOV. EX. Yikes! this one was tough! "Double Jeopardy"
“Double Jeopardy”
Should I… will he… could they…? Like face cards in a deck being shuffled her thoughts sped by, one after another. She took a few deep breaths and started.
***
The night was warm and Patsy slipped her sweater off as she walked through the rose garden on her way to meet Bill. The fragrant scent of promised love filled the air, stars twinkled above and the granite walkway sparkled beneath her feet reflecting the light of a full moon. Humming softly she quickened her pace.
Exercise #2: Show, don't tell
Newbie, my 1st time excercise.....
Hello everyone! Can I have some feedback?
Hello! Below are my entries for exercise #1. Enjoy!
Shy Nun: She lowered her eyes and blushed when realizing she was noticed, her long habit hanging down her back.
Sunny Sky: Not a cloud in sight, the morning sky was bright and serene.
Sleepy town: All was quiet in town, the only light given by the street lamps. The few people remaining in the street slowly retreated to their resting places.
Can I post a 450 word essay to get feedback on?
I don't know if this is the appropriate place to post something of that length. Anyone feel free to let me know, I'm new to this board.
TRYING TO FIND MY VOICE....WHERE TO GO?
More On Show
Here's an interesting article on Show Vs Tell:
http://www.uwec.edu/academic/curric/jerzdg/orr/handouts/Style/showing.htm
Adrienne
It's NOT the Nov Ex....(m)
-just something I was inspired to write coz I can't find a job!! And the characters in this story are real...enjoy, and please! comment! :)
She sat in her room, head over the papers, eyes scanning for possible openings. But there was nothing. Must be able to converse in various dialects. Chinese-speaking required. ‘I’m sorry, we’re looking for a Chinese-speaking person.’ Wasn’t there anyone in the corporate world that spoke English? Didn’t seem like it.
Her eyes fell on an advertisement.
Nov. Exercise - The Slumber Party (language)
“Whattaya mean, ya don’t drink? I been drinkin’ beer since I was eight.”
The pride in his voice was unmistakable. I looked at the other kids and they were all smiling at me. Some missing teeth, some with braces, some with all their baby teeth.
“I drink!”
Their laughter filled my ears and the heat in my face consumed me. I felt like that volcano we learned about in geography yesterday. Mt. St. Helens.
“I do! Dad lets me have wine every Thanksgiving!”
